Abuse, Culture, Journal

credibility

There's something I keep buried very deep. Want to hear it? I know that I'm not a very credible person. Look at me: Few friends. Mentally-ill (who cares how, and why?). Art degree, and not actively using said degree. 30, and still not self-sufficient. Unmarried and estranged from my family to the point of changing… Continue reading credibility

Journal, Recovery

enough

You know the feeling, right? There’s someone in your life, and you think he/she is the bee’s knees. You look up to this person, and of course, you want him/her to look up to you, too. Then insecurity comes in. You look at yourself and your flaws. "There’s no way," you think. "I’m not _____… Continue reading enough

Journal, Recovery

inner beliefs

My therapist gave me a topic to think about this week: the beliefs I have about myself, and how they hold me back in life. I’ve certainly gone over these beliefs little by little here, but hey; why not have them in one place? Some of these beliefs might be chained in your heart as… Continue reading inner beliefs

Journal, Recovery

flowerless flower

There was one day where my friend was telling me how great a person I was, and I just about begged him to stop. I’d get and give compliments in passing all the time, but to be earnestly told, eyes met, that I’m a good thing in this world makes something in me very uncomfortable.… Continue reading flowerless flower

Recovery

crabs have claws

Abuse really does so much harm to one’s ability to see reality. I realized it again when I made that mistake, memories of mistakes leading to severe emotional abuse and grudges (leading to more emotional abuse for those things I said sorry for) flooding my mind. This is true for the immediate as well as… Continue reading crabs have claws