Journal, Recovery

lightening the load

While it hasn’t been the worst week I’ve ever had, it hasn’t exactly been the best week, either. I had to take my car to the shop to be fixed and pay a hefty fee. I had to pay another hefty fee regarding a misunderstanding with my last place. Like other furloughed workers, I didn’t… Continue reading lightening the load

Journal, Recovery

remembering one’s strength

It's a very humbling and empowering thing to remember one's strength, especially when it comes in the face of a loved one's weakness. It makes you reevaluate what you thought of yourself, of other people, and of the world. When we talked a bit about boundaries, unsure of where we're going together, I felt like… Continue reading remembering one’s strength

Culture, Journal, Recovery

proper perspective

So many things have been on my mind this past week, following my reporting that incident at work. I went to my boss together with my friend, and I was reminded of how this is the third time I’d made a report like this. 3 times in over 5 years, with many unreported incidents in… Continue reading proper perspective

Culture, Journal, Recovery

unhealthy expectations

Beverly Engel said it so well when she wrote, “As a victim of childhood abuse, you no doubt experienced horrendous pain and suffering at the hands of your parents and other adults. Yet you not only won’t allow yourself to acknowledge your suffering, but expect yourself to walk away from the abuse unscathed - to… Continue reading unhealthy expectations

Abuse, Culture, Journal

credibility

There's something I keep buried very deep. Want to hear it? I know that I'm not a very credible person. Look at me: Few friends. Mentally-ill (who cares how, and why?). Art degree, and not actively using said degree. 30, and still not self-sufficient. Unmarried and estranged from my family to the point of changing… Continue reading credibility

Journal, Recovery

enough

You know the feeling, right? There’s someone in your life, and you think he/she is the bee’s knees. You look up to this person, and of course, you want him/her to look up to you, too. Then insecurity comes in. You look at yourself and your flaws. "There’s no way," you think. "I’m not _____… Continue reading enough

Journal, Recovery

inner beliefs

My therapist gave me a topic to think about this week: the beliefs I have about myself, and how they hold me back in life. I’ve certainly gone over these beliefs little by little here, but hey; why not have them in one place? Some of these beliefs might be chained in your heart as… Continue reading inner beliefs

Journal, Recovery

flowerless flower

There was one day where my friend was telling me how great a person I was, and I just about begged him to stop. I’d get and give compliments in passing all the time, but to be earnestly told, eyes met, that I’m a good thing in this world makes something in me very uncomfortable.… Continue reading flowerless flower