Culture, Recovery

safe secrets

One of the criticisms I've been hearing about the Church is the "culture of secrecy". I think it doesn't come as a surprise that I largely agree with this assessment. From the seal of the confession to the general attitude to "keep family business within the family", much harm has come from our need to… Continue reading safe secrets

Journal, Recovery


You know the feeling, right? There’s someone in your life, and you think he/she is the bee’s knees. You look up to this person, and of course, you want him/her to look up to you, too. Then insecurity comes in. You look at yourself and your flaws. "There’s no way," you think. "I’m not _____… Continue reading enough

Abuse, Journal

disloyalty bind

I remember the first time my dad ever expressed jealousy towards someone else in my life. Sure, my mother did it all the time, openly and loudly, making me out to be some traitorous whore for connecting with someone outside the family. My dad didn’t, and when he finally did, it was very subtle. All… Continue reading disloyalty bind

Journal, Recovery


Names. Memories. Friends. Coworkers. The meaning of “I love you.” The meaning of life after not having one. I’m rewatching Violet Evergarden. I’ve read and watched reviews that would say Violet isn’t relatable enough to most folks, but again, it’s like I’m watching my own story (albeit rewritten). I’m finding that I connect with her… Continue reading keepsakes

Journal, Recovery, Spirituality

good shepherd II

I did something today I didn't think I'd ever do. It all came up because I was thinking of how people have helped me out of my abuse. With these nightmares I have about my family (this last one being about my big brother and my sister forcibly taking me back with them), I thought… Continue reading good shepherd II