Abuse, Recovery

healing from bad touch

I wonder how many people will relate with what I'm going to talk about here... Abuse or no abuse, I can't help but wonder, from all the crazy, messed up stuff in the world today, does anyone know what good touch is anymore? I think I mentioned how I was forced to give hugs and kisses… Continue reading healing from bad touch

Sexuality, Spirituality

detox & desire

So, Lent. It's the time to purify (or as I like to call it, "detox") oneself of anything slowing you down spiritually, and also therefore physically, mentally, and emotionally. This means giving up sweets for some. For others it means taking up more and/or different devotions. We get on the Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving program,… Continue reading detox & desire


living with emotions

I wrote in my foreword/about page that I'm a "textbook Cancer". While I don't place any faith in astrology or horoscopes, yes; my personality happens to closely parallel the profile for someone born under Cancer (sensitive, nurturing, and creative, close to the moon and sea). For a long time, I felt bad about this fun… Continue reading living with emotions

Abuse, Culture


Every choice, no matter what it is, has a consequence. Choosing hatred has consequences. Choosing love and forgiveness has consequences. So does, of course, that choice. Abortion is a topic that sits very deep in me. It's like an undersea volcano; there's both incredible agony and anger associated with this very controversial topic. It's also a… Continue reading choice



TW: This entry refers back to my suicide attempt last year as well as my past abuse. Autumn is only weeks away now, and thank God. After spring, autumn is my favorite season (with winter following very close after autumn, and summer in dead last due to the heat). The moment September started, I started… Continue reading anniversaries

Abuse, Recovery

re: trauma

If I were to sum up "trauma" in a word...I'd say "life-altering" is a pretty good one to use. It's something that causes great harm in whatever way the abuse entails, and maybe the worst harm is the harm done to the victim's perspective of reality. When I was growing up, I understood "trauma" from… Continue reading re: trauma



I always had a strange relationship with my reflection. Ever since I was a very little girl, I'd have this existential crisis whenever I'd see my reflection: "Who is that in the mirror? Is she me? She can't be; if she is, then who am I?" My parents didn't understand. They decided to interpret it… Continue reading identity