Journal, Recovery

through darkness

There's so much I want to say. There's so much I want to do. Too much. I don't know where to start, or how to start. The topic is still fresh on people's minds; this is the best time to talk about abuse, the Church, etc. I could help a lot of people with what… Continue reading through darkness

Journal, Recovery, Spirituality

good shepherd II

I did something today I didn't think I'd ever do. It all came up because I was thinking of how people have helped me out of my abuse. With these nightmares I have about my family (this last one being about my big brother and my sister forcibly taking me back with them), I thought… Continue reading good shepherd II

Abuse, Journal, Recovery

floodgates

(TW) I'm sure it's the topic of many people's nightmares: the door about to be broken in. Maybe you hear whatever's forcing its way in jiggling the handle, or slamming its weight against the creaking door. Just thinking about it would likely make anyone's heart start pounding (sorry...coming in strong here). I went from having… Continue reading floodgates

Journal, Recovery

body & soul II

I recently had a small case of heat stress. These newer workstations aren't very well-equipped against the heat, even with the added shades. As the days get hotter, general workplace anxiety has been going up with the temperature. It was like last year when we learned about this fact the hard way, where I got… Continue reading body & soul II

Abuse, Journal, Recovery

to uncle joe

I never really had the idea to write an open letter to one of my abusers. I never had the idea of what I’d want to tell them, nor any idea what I’d want to say if I did. Until now. I’m not sure why this one came to me first. Maybe it’s because I… Continue reading to uncle joe

Culture, Recovery, Spirituality

victim blaming & sin

It’s been a long while since Jesus shared a piece of His Heart with me at Mass. It was a part of His victimhood I didn’t really realize, or maybe appreciate, that we had in common. Mary and Joseph supported Him and the truths He revealed, see, but His extended family didn’t. The gospel today, Mark 2:20-30,… Continue reading victim blaming & sin

Journal, Spirituality

known by our love

When I was a kid going to "guitar Masses," there was one folksy hymn we'd sing with the refrain, "They will know we are Christian by our love." The melody could've used some work, but part of me misses that hymn. I feel the Church could do with hearing that message a little more often.… Continue reading known by our love

Journal

lifeline

A/N: talking openly about suicidal thoughts here...you've been warned. When you type in something along the lines of “painless suicide” into google, those first pages of results are going to be links to suicide-prevention services, hotlines, sites dedicated to talking you out of it. The most common advice they give is 1) wait, and 2) talk… Continue reading lifeline