little hopes

I stopped by the church yesterday to ask some big questions to "The Big Man", and on my way out, I found an open book in the back. It was a book of prayer intentions, so, naturally, I wrote mine:  For a reason to live. Maybe not the happiest, given context found on this blog,… Continue reading little hopes


hope is vital

Lent is almost over, and I don't feel like I've progressed at all in my detox. I'd get tempted to self-abuse, and almost instantly lose all willpower. I'd be flooded with memories of what happened with my abusers whenever I dared to say, "No!" and fight back. I thought of how my parents mercilessly shamed… Continue reading hope is vital

Sexuality, Spirituality

detox & desire

So, Lent. It's the time to purify (or as I like to call it, "detox") oneself of anything slowing you down spiritually, and also therefore physically, mentally, and emotionally. This means giving up sweets for some. For others it means taking up more and/or different devotions. We get on the Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving program,… Continue reading detox & desire


winter fog

The books often cite one of the major signs of depression is a loss of interest in things that once interested the person in question. Even things he/she loved or were very passionate about turn into something gray and lifeless. I never really got that; my interests and passions were some of the things that… Continue reading winter fog


shelter in life’s storms

I’d been looking into making song covers, and even original music. I’d been thinking about doing this for years, and for whatever reason, I decided I wanted to try on YouTube though I’m nervous, hehe. There's not much there yet; just a banner, some lyrics I'm working on, translating. One step at a time, though.… Continue reading shelter in life’s storms


living with emotions

I wrote in my foreword/about page that I'm a "textbook Cancer". While I don't place any faith in astrology or horoscopes, yes; my personality happens to closely parallel the profile for someone born under Cancer (sensitive, nurturing, and creative, close to the moon and sea). For a long time, I felt bad about this fun… Continue reading living with emotions



TW: This entry refers back to my suicide attempt last year as well as my past abuse. Autumn is only weeks away now, and thank God. After spring, autumn is my favorite season (with winter following very close after autumn, and summer in dead last due to the heat). The moment September started, I started… Continue reading anniversaries