Journal, Recovery

time travel

Amidst the suffering, I sometimes have to admire the human brain in light of my experiences with trauma and the subsequent mental afflictions. The fact that my brain could repress memories that were too horrible for me to have as a child, or how I was lost in a cloud of daydreams for years to… Continue reading time travel

Abuse, Recovery

history repeated

It’s often said that when we don’t learn from the past, we’re sure to repeat it in the future. It’s one of those fears victims of abuse have: becoming abusers ourselves. It’s a fear I’ve had for a long time, of becoming an overt, active abuser like my mother, and/or an covert, passive abuser like my… Continue reading history repeated

Abuse, Journal, Recovery

to monsignor

A/N: ...I didn’t think I’d be writing this. I didn't think I'd ever want to write something like for him, yet here we are. While I didn't censor out my uncle's name in his letter, I will censor his name; he's well-known and well-loved even postmortem, and I really don't like the idea of facing… Continue reading to monsignor

Abuse, Recovery, Spirituality

dear catholics

A/N: Yes...I'm finally sharing the piece I wrote for the diocesan newspaper. It went through a couple drafts, and this is the one I settled on. They may never print it, and that's fine - just so long as it reaches people. I titled this "dear catholics", but I write this to anyone who wants… Continue reading dear catholics

Abuse, Culture, Journal, Recovery

highs & lows

I don’t think I’m alone in saying I can have a very one-track mind. When something’s taken hold of my time, energy, and emotions, chances are good that I’m going to be swept away in it. This can be true for the hard times, but also for the good times. This past week or so,… Continue reading highs & lows

Culture, Recovery

safe secrets

One of the criticisms I've been hearing about the Church is the "culture of secrecy". I think it doesn't come as a surprise that I largely agree with this assessment. From the seal of the confession to the general attitude to "keep family business within the family", much harm has come from our need to… Continue reading safe secrets

Abuse, Recovery

cowardice & narcissism

In Britain, a white feather was used to mark a coward who failed and/or refused to serve the country. It was a gift of disgrace, earning the recipient everyone's ill opinion. This comes as a bit of a culture shock for me, having always associated white feathers with angels, beings of pure light, strength, and… Continue reading cowardice & narcissism

Journal, Recovery

through darkness

There's so much I want to say. There's so much I want to do. Too much. I don't know where to start, or how to start. The topic is still fresh on people's minds; this is the best time to talk about abuse, the Church, etc. I could help a lot of people with what… Continue reading through darkness