Abuse, Journal, Recovery

pitfalls

A/N: I don’t really like the word “trigger” for a number of reasons, the biggest one being how it’s being used so casually in society. For simplicity’s sake, I’ll be using it to describe what happens when something from the present reminds me of something traumatic. It was a hot day again, so we've been… Continue reading pitfalls

Journal, Recovery

flowerless flower

There was one day where my friend was telling me how great a person I was, and I just about begged him to stop. I’d get and give compliments in passing all the time, but to be earnestly told, eyes met, that I’m a good thing in this world makes something in me very uncomfortable.… Continue reading flowerless flower

Journal, Recovery

connected hearts

I’m in a very strange position where I’ve been not only granted permission, but outright encouraged to complain. Heat stress struck again, leaving us down two people, myself included. It’s imperative for everyone involved that from now on, I speak up immediately, even if I "don't feel hot". This goes against many of my deeply-rooted… Continue reading connected hearts

Abuse, Journal, Recovery

floodgates

(TW) I'm sure it's the topic of many people's nightmares: the door about to be broken in. Maybe you hear whatever's forcing its way in jiggling the handle, or slamming its weight against the creaking door. Just thinking about it would likely make anyone's heart start pounding (sorry...coming in strong here). I went from having… Continue reading floodgates

Journal, Recovery

body & soul II

I recently had a small case of heat stress. These newer workstations aren't very well-equipped against the heat, even with the added shades. As the days get hotter, general workplace anxiety has been going up with the temperature. It was like last year when we learned about this fact the hard way, where I got… Continue reading body & soul II

Journal, Recovery, Spirituality

faith & love

I was very reluctant to go to Mass today. I almost stayed home, and without as good a reason as last Sunday. When I came to the church, sat down, my mind wandered. I read the readings, heard the homily, but didn't really take in whatever was said. I just ended up feeling like garbage… Continue reading faith & love