Journal

morning cleanse

Today's my baptism anniversary, and even as the morning sun's shining over the world, all I have is hatred inside. I went to bed hating everyone and everything. I woke from another nightmare involving my family; I'm due to meet with my sister today, and in the nightmare, she snuck my parents into the deal,… Continue reading morning cleanse

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Recovery

living with emotions

I wrote in my foreword/about page that I'm a "textbook Cancer". While I don't place any faith in astrology or horoscopes, yes; my personality happens to closely parallel the profile for someone born under Cancer (sensitive, nurturing, and creative, close to the moon and sea). For a long time, I felt bad about this fun… Continue reading living with emotions

Abuse, Culture

choice

Every choice, no matter what it is, has a consequence. Choosing hatred has consequences. Choosing love and forgiveness has consequences. So does, of course, that choice. Abortion is a topic that sits very deep in me. It's like an undersea volcano; there's both incredible agony and anger associated with this very controversial topic. It's also a… Continue reading choice

Recovery, Spirituality

forgiving god

A/N: The line between "study" and "journal" is somewhat blurred here. I'm unsure where to put it as of now. I might edit out the overly emotional parts (i.e. the angry part) if need be, or replace this with a less emotional thought study. I'd appreciate any feedback on what I should do. I could… Continue reading forgiving god

Recovery

identity II

First of all, let's acknowledge something: it's funny what God uses to teach us about life sometimes. As much as I liked Disney movies in the past (yup, we're doing this in a serious study), I still haven't gotten around to watching Moana. I have, however, watched some clips, including one that really left an impression on… Continue reading identity II

Journal

anniversaries

TW: This entry refers back to my suicide attempt last year as well as my past abuse. Autumn is only weeks away now, and thank God. After spring, autumn is my favorite season (with winter following very close after autumn, and summer in dead last due to the heat). The moment September started, I started… Continue reading anniversaries

Abuse, Recovery

re: trauma

If I were to sum up "trauma" in a word...I'd say "life-altering" is a pretty good one to use. It's something that causes great harm in whatever way the abuse entails, and maybe the worst harm is the harm done to the victim's perspective of reality. When I was growing up, I understood "trauma" from… Continue reading re: trauma