Feeling pretty sheepish writing this, after I did the whole pulling most of my journal away off this blog.
You might’ve noticed some changes being made to the menu, namely the addition of the “Journal”, and “Stories” pages. This is because…yes…I’ve realized it’s just impossible to write impersonally on this stuff. I just can’t do it.
It’s like in The Little Prince, when he meets The Geographer, a scholar who knows everything there is to know about geography, cartography, and planetary sciences, but all his atlases are empty. He can’t tell The Little Prince a thing about his own planet because there’s not one explorer on his planet, no one who’s gone out, seen and lived the world, and reported his/her findings for him to record.
As I might’ve said already, I’m not a scholar, and I’m not a Geographer on this healing journey. I’m an explorer.
To be perfectly honest, I thought it would make this site more accessible, to be the impartial resource. I also thought it (and this is even more embarrassing) would make it easier for me to add a PayPal option to help support myself and my work. I don’t want to be a charity case, or want anyone’s pity money. It’s just that this blog, my creative work, is a much more valuable use of my time and energy, and most of my time and energy is being spent on trying to make a living. I really hate that; when I had to take drawing commissions to help pay my bills, it sucked all the joy out of something I loved most to do.
Alright. Enough excuses. Basically, I give up trying to be a Geographer.
When I have time, I’m going to try and bring back all my “journal” pieces I transferred to my private blog, as well as some of the ones that were kind of resource-related. I’m probably going to omit some details directly concerning my abuse, and keep those entries devoted to telling my story private. Not sure why I should bother…something in me just wants to still keep that to myself right now.
Also, I plan to write and share some stories I’ve had in mind for a while. These are mostly fairytales, aimed towards an abused audience. It’d be nice for them to be children’s books one day – I don’t think we have that many books abused children can read and relate to, or otherwise gain some awareness that abuse happens, sometimes in their own homes by their own families. It’s all still pretty hush-hush. Kids have to mind their parents and other grown-ups, etc. I don’t like that.
I may even share some things I’ve drawn for art therapy. Whether or not I’ll give them their own posts or scatter them around the blog, I really don’t know. It’s all kind of up in the air and cluttered about. Hoping I can organize this all soon.
PS: I’m not sure what to label the category for abuse/healing resource topics. Best I got is “Wisdom” after the blog title, but that sounds a wee bit pretentious, right? What do you think?